FOUND!
Excerpt from the Lost Book of Allison (the repentant)!
Historians of the Church are unsure whether Allison
was a prophet, a teacher, a leader of men, leader of women, or just a poor lost
wandering minstrel. One thing all are agreed
on, after careful study and much debate:
She was, without a doubt, absolutely clueless! The excerpt below was found by a church
member who was lost in the woods, near death, and on his last cookie. It closely follows the oral tradition, but
does not reveal the meaning of the cryptic Holy Writ, EBMfH,
or YOMANK. It should be noted that the
priesthood has deciphered the meaning of NFBSK, but has not shared it with the
general membership. They do, however,
spend a lot of time on the internet chuckling about it.
And lo, Allison had ignored the thread dealing
with the creation of the Church of the Clueless, until this very thread.
Until which, she
clicked upon the link, and verily, she wept with merriment and joy.
Yea, tho the Church had been ignored by her, she was like unto
Saul upon the road to
and she had a cookie.
(unreadable)
Lo, Allison The
Repentant, strode upon the landscape declaiming joy upon those who worship
caffeine, saying "This, drink, in remembrance of the Clueless, of which we
are all members someday.
And the brethren (some translate, and
add “sistern”) rose up as one, and shouted
"Yea, we believe in the powers of cookies and coffee!"
And they partook of
the abundance of cookies and coffee and stated "it is good."
The Book of Allison
The following was also
found; accreditation
is generally given to the Allison the Repentant, but scholars differ on
authorship:
And the prophet spake among
them, saying
"Lo, "bitchupmyass" shall ever refer
to those who call thee on thy idocy and bullNFBSK."
And the followers did speak "Oh, Leader, tell us more."
And the prophet did continue " Those who would be
a "bitchupmyass" shall ever strive for
goodness and reason and logic, though such striving shall piss off the
recipients of such."
The multitiudes pondered shortly, and then stated,
"Prophet, clarify."
And the prophet stated, "Those who pontificate crap shall receive crap in
the end."
Thus speaks the book of Jenn, in the Church of the
Clueless.
Alli "I am SO going to hell" The Repentant