HERESY! FALSE WITLESS!

A recent rash of “just discovered” documents purporting to be Church of the Clueless Holy Writ (Batman!) has recently begun circulating in the Church. The members, being clueless, have a very difficult time discerning whether to not have a clue, or just fake it. It is rumored that there are members who can spontaneously fake a clue, to the satisfaction of those near them, just for the self-gratification.

The following documents have been certified as being either plagiarism of other sources, or outright forgeries:

Psalm of the Clueless:

Yea, though I walk through the shadow of the Valley of bad ULs, I shall fear no rumors. Thy MB and PM, they comfort me, they soothe my soul. Thy makest for me a cookie in the presence of mine enemies, my keyboard runneth over. Yea, goodness and knowledge shall follow me all the rest of my life.

The “Psalm” is a compilation from other sources; the abbreviations apparently come from a place that has a LOT of clues, and thus invalidates the Holy Mandate of the Church, which is summarized in the saying: “Huh? Wha?”, attributed to Anonymous.

The following WAS actually found near the Archives. In the cookbook section. In the trashcan. Smelling of “happy juice”.

When Jenny, the Minstrel of Detroit, realized that the Assembly of the Clueless was desirous of singing hymns to their beloved cookies, she didst take up her electric harp to accompany them as they sang. And lo! As they sang, there came a great wonder: cookies in their multitudes didst fall from the sky, in such variety that all of those gathered didst have such cookies as they liked best to eat or required for special diets. Regular cookies, low-fat, low-carb, gluten-free: all these delicious morsels fell from the sky as if the cosmos themselves had joined in the celebration of cookie-flinging. The people saw, and they were much amazed. Then they gathered the cookies and feasted.

From a fragment of damaged scroll found near the archives of the Church of the Clueless